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Wednesday, January 11, 2006

10 Reasons Gay Marriage Is Wrong

This is a well written and funny, if sarcastic, list. It is apparently one of those 'emails going around' although I first heard of it from Scott Kurtz's online comic PVP. He didn't give any other source...

1. Being gay is not natural. And as you know Americans have always rejected unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because, as you know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

2 Comments:

Anonymous flashcat said...

Heh. That's good. :)

3:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only reason gay marriage is still illegal is because Christians
have too much control in this country and are forcing their white boys anal sex gay beliefs on us.Now I know Christians who are cool with gay marriage, but how many atheistsdo you know who say that two people who love
each other should be kept apart?

9:24 AM  

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